This show was a weird one for me. Not the show itself, which was spectacular, but the overall experience of it was personally weird. I loved MCR's old stuff, from back when I was in 8th/freshman year. The new stuff is way too Glee/dancey for me so, to be truly honest, I was more excited to see Circa Survive again than anything else.
(I had to give myself a sharpie-tattoo of my signature Hippo with a mohawk and tie, throwin up a peace sign.)
The kickoff to the strangeness was when we got to our seats and I had some guy come up to me (it was insanely dark, I had no clue who he was,) and go, "Patricia?" Turns out he was an old classmate of mine I knew from 3rd-6th grade! I suddenly got self-conscious.
I mean, I don't know about you, but I kinda like to let loose at concerts, and knowing there was someone I knew standing 4 inches away from me, who knew me back in my long-hair-and-Harry-Potter-glasses days, was just tooo weird.
Then Circa Survive came on and I totally got over it. Lol.
Later on though, some weird feelings came back when this song started to play:
I honestly can't remember if I've ever talked about this on my blog but, I was a very depressed kid when I was in middle school. I mean, walk home everyday from school crying, contemplating suicide constantly, completely withdrawing from life, depressed. My entire 7th grade year was a complete nightmare, and I honestly don't like to think about how close I was to doing something stupid. And I remember this song and Good Charlotte's "Hold On" being played more than any that year. Hearing that song live was just, a really surreal experience.
Towards the end of the show, this next song started playing, and I swear I could not handle how amazing I felt hearing those first few keys and lyrics...
The song just reminded me of being a freshman, hanging out with my friends, singing this song at the top of our lungs during our morning PE classes. I remembered how happy I had become being able to start over in high school.
"When I was, a young boy, my father, took me into the city, to see a marching band...."
To feel the emotions I attached to each song in such a short period of time was a little overwhelming to me. I started to tear up and in a theatre full of hundreds of people I was grateful it was so pitch black. Knowing what I had almost done in 7th grade also knowing how happy I was going to be in high school made me so happy that I had pushed through my depression. There I was, standing next to my best friend (my sister), a guy I knew when I was a little kid, hearing songs that reminded me of some major life moments, I just can't explain it. I was just so happy to be apart of that moment. To be able to look back on the person that I was in elementary school, to middle school, to high school, to who I was, standing there right then, this person had become, it was all triggered because of these songs, and this experience, and it was absolutely amazing.
And if you don't believe that it had been a rough night, the evidence is all in the hair.
